"cinderella complex"

(title of a book my dad (!) gave my mom twenty-five years ago.. Yonsei University is indeed a very liberal school)

forget grad school, stocks, or trying to do any good with my meager talents. if someone could fund me and provide for me so I can just play in the kitchen with the newest recipes, read/read/read, try all varieties of coffee flavors, take time to master Adobe Creative suite and learn how to make a website, travel around europe, not miss a single sales event, do yoga & pilates and roll around with my kids, i will not mind... i also would not mind the free protection and service- it would be nice to not have to do anything risky, burdensome, perplexing and stressful with my two hands and one head ever again... and who would?
after all, i just want to be taken care of.

i guess this may be what a girl may deserve for winning a man's adoration, but i think it's too good to be true. it sounds heavenly.

i just want to avoid the tragedy of my most beloved man having to compete with God.

i want what i can perceive with all my senses, not the associated and imagined externalities. i want to love the person and what this love has done for me, not what the person can do for me.

oh apple.

iPad?

future-

the future isn't ahead of us, but behind us.

what gazes us from the front are the things that already happened- the past glories and the past failures. we must make more deliberate attempts to turn back and look onto our future compared to the past which is much easier to conjure up.

i want to turn my head away from the good times and the bad times as they make me forget to turn my head back to where the future is.

bad times, i'm sure you existed for a reason. i grew.
good times, i'm thankful that you were there. it was a good time.
but let's move on.

art

or 'playing around' with our emotions, feelings and desires.

i want you to want me.
http://iwantyoutowantme.org/credits.html

we feel fine!
http://wefeelfine.org/index.html

lovelines.
http://www.love-lines.com/lovelines.html

combining computer science, narrative, statistics & visual arts to explore and explain this world.

jonathan harris & sep kamvar.. freaking geniuses.

rainy day

when it's raining, what I need the most isn't an umbrella-
what I really need is someone who will run with me through the rain.

i don't have the power to stop the rain, nor do I own an umbrella.
but if you don't mind,

..i can run with you.

:)

roots.

i've only recently learned that both of my grandpas crossed over from North Korea.
so much part of my roots is stemmed in a land that is physically unreachable.. i really hope such won't be the case in the near future.

dream

dream shall not be a zero-sum game.
it ought to be communal, what we all desire.

i don't want my dream to be fulfilled by taking away someone else's hope.
i can't ask another to support my dream if it's not something others want to see it actualized as well.

my dream shall be unbreakable because it is not just my own.

what I can do

모든게 변한다. 진심을 다하면 적어도 나는 바뀔테니까.
내가 바뀌면 모든게 바뀐다
...그렇게 믿고 있다.

love like this.

can there really be a simple & cute love story like this?

(outside the fanatical imagination of female screenwriters!)

a love that triumphs dap dap hae situations for two people who are just meant to be, to come together.

I will

let go of the triviality I have been tightly holding on, so that I may grasp something incomparably greater.

this year, i think i'm going to expect more and hope for better.
i'm choosing trust over interest, faith over logic and people over pride.

i will question as if my head is a blank slate.
i will work as if my life depended on it.
i will smile as if i know no other expression.
i will give as if i had an infinite amount.

i will love as if i've never been hurt before.

i'm going to dream the impossible.
because.. there is no other option.

my spring of life, unsettled, uncertain & unpredictable (and unpaid!) but filled with potentiality.
press on :)